There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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