TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
