Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
