Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
