Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
