i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its about making memories worth repressing
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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