Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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