I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
