we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
