Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize