this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
