is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
