Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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