she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
