She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
