I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
