In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
