Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
