i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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