Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
