BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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