addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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