Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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