SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
