Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
are you so shy because you have an std?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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