She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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