escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
