oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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