We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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