It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
