Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
