He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize