Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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