Only a mothe r could love this liver
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
