Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize