In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
