yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
