you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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