well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
