I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
