With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
