No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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