$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize