And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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