We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
