I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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