hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
