You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
