It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
