I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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