You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
