for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The best revenge is premature balding
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wear drunk well.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
