Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
that is very illegal...i love you.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
