I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
