I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
