I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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