I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
