I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
