There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
