Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
lets start a swedish sibling band together
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
