How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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