i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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