Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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