Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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