i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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