There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think my vagina is haunted
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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