I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what day is it and did you see me today?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
