NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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