No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I had to cum in my sink.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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