She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
