I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
