What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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